I used to think that I'm still young, that it would come to me in the future, in the next 2-5 years. I've been making hasty decisions, going with the flow of events, of people, of things. Now, I'm starting to think if I'm walking on an actual road leading somewhere. What if all the paths I chose were grey areas, misleading tracks, messed up signs, dirt roads? What's going to happen to me?
I guess it's good that's he's thinking about our future together. I just wish he knows what to do. I can't be making all the decisions in our so-called relationship. Why am I always asked when all I want to do is listen?
There's a sure chance that this is going nowhere. I am not a beleiver of long distance relationships. Even if it's just 300 kilometers away. I just can't take it. Why would destiny bring us together just to break us apart now?
I think I'm destined to be miserable for the rest of my life.
Suddenly, you have no time for me. Suddenly, you have issues. Just when he's being perfect, you become ignorant and selfish. Just when I thought that I wanted to be with you rather than with anyone else.
What a short lived happiness. I don't think I'm destined to be happy at all. Maybe my role in life is to fix people up and leave when I'm not needed. What am I? Mechanic? Plumber? Cable guy person thing? Watdahell. I almost wish I had freaky issues so someone could fix me up. Hey. I need special attention too. Just because I can manage without you doesn't mean I dont need you. I need to be complete, too.
Skaterboy made my heart do kickflip 360 my golly.
Hahahaay.... :)
Lately, my head has been everywhere but the place where it should be.
I think it's true that people make issues, create drama, scenes, moments because they really do not have grave issues and big problems to think about. Drama has become something that we make for a lack of a better thing to do. Amusement perhaps. Something to kill time. Or to kill your braincells.
I'm a very scattered person, least bit organized except for a few things. My thoughts are always up there and down here and right there and why hello, over there. I'm too lazy and too busy to do the organizing in my brain and this seems to be the only place where i can be really me. - with the drama.
So there. That took too many words to explain. And yes, I can be pretty NOT direct to the point sometimes. BLAH.
- Mood:
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